votw ii.2: C-List Celebrities, They Keep Coming Through

And so we delve into week #2th of this grand experiment. I’ve yet to see an increment in my PayPal account.

“The Blood That Moves The Body” didn’t seem to move many people, though. Is it really as boring as y’all say it is? But it’s got ninjas — and demonic bunnies!

OK, OK, I’ll make it up to you by focusing on a more visually-intense video for this second at-bat. Cut me some slack here, guys. I’ve only been doing this cyberspace jabberwocky since 1997. The Internets were much more different back then. Chatting with a girl in Seattle was the thing to do, and that 56K modem catfight sound seemed so novel. Nowadays, it’s all friend-request-me this and download-movies that. What happened to innocence, m’dears? What happened to Geocities?

It seems like we all had to grow up, even a-ha. Where once they were making music videos about comic book race car drivers (which was so in), they are now making music videos about Cuba drowning from too much free health care. I wonder why Raul Castro’s bistro was chosen as the backdrop for this video, though. Maybe Qba’s the cheapest place to build an actual, factual ark. Or maybe a-ha just enjoy a really good ice cream. My dad always gloated about the frozen treats in Havana, but when my mom visited Cuba, she said they weren’t as good as we were led to believe. More of that red propaganda, you know. :P

Of course, the narrative of “Forever Not Yours” deals with a modern-day Noah’s Ark. We all know that Lenny Kravitz and the Mona Lisa will make it aboard the Last Ship of Humanity (can’t they just build a bunch?), but I hope they also had the foresight to bring with them lesser vestiges of human proficiency. The Gutenberg printing press is wizard, for real, but more important than the Pet Rock? Get a-buildin’, Steve Carrell.

Satellite imagery of where the biblical tugboat
may reside, circa 2004. Alternate theory:
the International Space Station is obsessed
with the sunless area of human anatomy.

I have a gripe with this a-ha music video: I can understand why they’re restraining Morten from joining his Matancera girlfriend on the Titanic, but why do the seamen just let him go a couple of seconds later? Oh, he was so discouraged by brute force, was he? Ah, but he has one ace up his ripping sleeve: the most dramatic delivery of a line in the history of music videos based on Old Testament tales filmed in Cuba after the Elian Revolution.


“Mags has my N.W.A. CDs!”

I guess Straight Outta Compton is forever not his.

This is one of the more intentionally amusing a-ha videos. Other intentionally funny videos include “Touchy!” and “You Are The One” (I hope). One unintentionally funny video is “Move To Memphis.” Such V.I.P. kidders.

Oh, yeah, the video:

 

You know the drill. Send me a picture of yourself, your one-night-stand dos and don’ts, and your home phone number.* Or just cast your score at Cold As Stone. Thanks for making this so much fun.

*Doesn’t a phone number negate the one-night-stand?

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~ by Alfredeus on January 22, 2008.

2 Responses to “votw ii.2: C-List Celebrities, They Keep Coming Through”

  1. You’re as cold as stone!
    You’re willing to sacrifice your lo- no, wait.
    You’re willing to sacrifice your…phone? Rhymes with stone…

    Stone Cold Craaaaaazy!

    Stone In Looooooooooooove!!!!!!!!

    Um. Isn’t week 2 nearly two months late?

    GASP

    >_>

  2. Seriously dude, are you stalking me??? ;)

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